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A Single Mother Desprate For Help
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TOPIC: A Single Mother Desprate For Help
A Single Mother Desprate For Help 8 Years, 6 Months ago Karma: 1
I am a single mom that is fighting the family court system alone and is desprate for someone to step-up and help.
I have a story that many single moms with deadbeat fathers are in desperate need to share with our legislature, media and community. This story is about how corrupt, pathetic, and sad our family court system and childsupport agency is. And my question to all "Why isn't anything being done to change the laws that have too many loop - holes to become sucessful?"
I am a single mom of four children I was married for almost five years to a man that I thought was a great , being the son of a local pastor and police chaplin. We had three children together and I have one from a previous relationship. He was a great man and father until he started abusing drugs, mostly ice about two years into our relationship and then beconing violent. After chance after chance that I gave him and a restraining order later, I finally gave an ultimatum to either go into a rehab or file for divorce. (I want to stress the fact that we push women to get out of the abusive and dangerousrelationships they are in only to have the court slap them in the face later but I will get back to that.) I was then served divorce papers about two weeks later in them stating that he requested full physical and legal custody. After a year long costly legal battle in which he failed a drug test and then the court gave him a second chance and gave him a second test which he again failed I was awarded sole legal and phyiscal custody and all visitation was terminated. After all that drama and thousands of dollars of legal bills thanks to the court system giving him another chance to get clean so that meant my attorney and I parading in and out of court over a dozen time I was relieved for it to all be over and to return to a normal life.
Sadly that was not the case, about one month had passed and I had learned that he had since stopped paying childsupport and covering our children under his insurance. To be honest it really didn't surprise me, so I just contacted the Childsupport Enforcement agency. I was told that there was really nothing they could do at the time. I was then working a full time job and trying to recover from all the legal bills so I was a little unheartened by that response, but there was nothing I could do. During this time I continued to let the paternal grandparents see the children on a weekly basis and long as they supervised my ex with the children and boy did that back fire on me. Everything was fine until a few incidents happened regarding my ex and physical abuse to the children as well as the neglect of their supervision that they promised. After a final incident with our son being draged accross the church floor and the pictures to prove it I stopped the visits with the grandparents. About two to three weeks after me stopping the visits I recieved a letter from CPS regarding a case being open against me. Stating neglect, abuse, and that the children and I were living in a boat. All outlandish accusations to say the least, but I call CPS inquiring what I need to do, I went as far as offering them to come and visit our apartment where we have been living for over 2 years. They said that it was not nessesary and that the accusations were probably false. Upset I called my ex-mother-in -law to see if she place the anyomous call at first she denyed it then about a month later admitted to it saying she was upset that I had stopped visitation and just tried to make me look unfit so they could see the children. If that wasn't bad enough I was then served with more papers, this time it was a "Grandparents right to intervene" I felt like this was never going to end. I couldn't afford anymore legal bills so I hired a legal aide attorney, who was great by the way. After a court date about 2 months later the judge ruled in my favor.
Everything was quiet for about five or six months then a bombshell, more papers this time my ex pass one drug test and now feels he deserves full custody eventhough he has a history of violence and lets not forget at the time a $25,000 debt of back childsupport he owes me. I almost had a nervous breakdown as I hired again the same attorney that handled the divorce. She assured me that they had no case and we were sure to win.
The day of court I was in disbelief when the judge ruled that he could now have supervised visits with my ex's father being the supervisor, yeah like that was a good supervisor. Not only that, the visits were Sundays from 8:30am till 5:30pm. SO basicly he went from no contact with the kids in 18 months to a full day of contact. Will someone please explain to me how the hell that happened? Because a huge firm of Hawaii's top attorneys couldn't. He was suppose to attend drug counseling which he didn't do also the judge ignored his abusive past. Stating that it was in the past and doesn't matter in his court room. Oh and the best part is that his new attorney is a part time judge. How can a judge be a lawyer???? You would think that would be a conflict of intrest or at least grossly unfair on my part. But ever since this judge/attorney came on the case my ex has gotten almost everything he has asked for. And now my ex has stated on the record in court that he is working and the court has still not ordered any childsupport. So let's see he is now back over $30,000.00 in childsupport. To make matters worse my ex doesn't follow any of the courts orders. Like random drug test or drug counseling.The next court date my lawyer and I were extremely confident, having a ER report that proved neglect on my in-laws part regarding an incident with my youngest daugheter. After leaving my 3 children in my ex-husbands and so called supervisors care my daughter had her elbow dislocated when my mother-in-law pulled her arm. Instead of taking her to the ER they let her stay in pain for over 4 hours until I picked her up and rushed her to the ER.

During all of this I was engaged and my fiance who has beed supporting us for the past 3 years, has decided to open a business in Vegas, so we decided to move. I figured that I had sole legal custody and sole phyiscal custody that it would be fine. After all I can't afford all these attorney bills on my own and with no childsupport it was impossible for me to stay in Hawaii alone. So we moved to Vegas with my fiance and went from a 1 bedroom crappy apartment to a huge 2000 sq. ft. home with 4 bedrooms and a backyard. The kids are happy and I am finally getting some financial relief. I had a pending court hearing in which the new attorney we had to hire because I could no longer afford the old one, he went into court letting the judge know the circumstances had changed that I could no longer afford to live in Hawaii due to no childsupport from my ex. Well the judge had a fit and wanted to find me in contempt of court for leaving without permission. I was then called by the court to testify over the phone, lets just say that the judge chewed me a new one for that. I explained that I did not know that I needed to get promission since I had full phyiscal and legal custody. He said I needed to be punished for that , so he said I had to purchase a computer for my ex so that he can skype with the kids. I asked the judge " Let me get this straight I had to move because my ex is a dead beat and owes in excess of 30 grand and you want me to buy HIM a computer???" He said "Thats what happens when you go behind the courts back" I was in disbelief I feel that was rediculous and went I tried to defend myself I was told that " He did not want to hear it" !
Now after a fourth court hearing now the judge has ordered me and my children to fly back to Hawaii so he can decide if we have to stay in Hawaii with no childsupport and no court justice in my opinion. And where would the court like me to get the $3000 its going to cost to fly all of us back? I just feel like I am screwed to the wall for just trying to protect my children from their abusive and drug addict dad, and trying to provide the best for them in a beter eviorment.
Someone, if anyone can help me or just share your story with the media and legislature, I know that I am not the only single mom out there that has dealt with corrupt politics or a messed up judicial system. I don't know who else to turn to this is my last ditch attempt for some honest justice. We really need to get this in the forefront at let the community know that we need to seriously rethink our legal system.

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Re: A Single Mother Desprate For Help 5 Years, 6 Months ago Karma: 0
did you get help?
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